I am a girl, like it or not.

As a girl, I was expected to wear pretty dresses and play nicely with dolls. Don’t get me wrong. It is nice to dress up, and the dolls had plenty of adventure at the hands of my young self! But it was awkward. I felt left out when I heard what the boys got to do.

When somebody said that I could grow up to be “anything” I wanted to be, I secretly thought I wanted to grow up to be a man. Men are strong. Men get the honor of protecting their families. Men get to work out on the farm while women are stuck at home tending to household chores.

Fortunately for me, I was born in the 80s. A time when you are what you are, and if you don’t like it, toughen up.

Years later, I am glad that I am a woman. Proud to help break stereotypes when I enjoy activities that I once thought were only for “men”. When life gets rough, I enjoy being the half that is protected. And what an honor it was to be the first person to carry my young child … for over 9 months before she was born. We got to share a special bond.

Not only am I glad that I am a woman, I am happy that my daughter is also growing up to be a fine young woman! She will have so many opportunities without shame. She can wear what she wants, and as long as she is qualified she can go after whatever job she wants.

Life would be a bit harder if she was a male wishing to take on feminine roles. I look forward to the day when a boy can wear what he wants and do more “girly” things without being picked on. But as the stronger sex, I hope that the guys will recognize and embrace their own important roles. Just as men aren’t equipped to carry a baby in their belly for 9 months, neither is the average woman ready to take on the more physically demanding roles in life.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to feel like you are in the wrong body. I truly feel for those who know deep within their beings that they “are” a gender that does not match their outward physical appearance. And for those whose outward physical appearance is not clearly male or female, who are subject to hearing hate from people who just don’t get it – Gender is not always clearly defined.

But I have to say, I am very frustrated when I hear of parents keeping their child’s gender secret from an early age, with plans of letting them decide for themselves. How confusing this must be for the child! Their own identity should be something that is made clear to them early on.

Don’t give your kids the extra pressure of deciding what gender they are, along with all the other things they need to figure out in life. Tell them. Teach them that some things are what they are. You accept those things, and you move on to tackle the stuff you can control.

If your child comes to you, insisting that they are not the gender you thought they were, that is when you can discuss why they feel that way and help them navigate through whatever brought on these thoughts and feelings.