Child Support and Visitation – We Won!

This is a letter to my ex. Anybody who feels the same is free to share.

We finally had our day in court. I know this is not the outcome you had hoped for, but I think the decision was fair.

You wanted them to look at you in your current state. To see you as a loving father who is disabled and incapable of working to provide for his child. You wanted to spend every other weekend and extended holidays with our daughter. And you hoped for them to say you owe $0 per month in child support.

Had you been a better father before your injury, I would totally agree. I would be happy to let my child spend time with a caring, responsible parent while I catch up on work or go out with friends. I would be content to wait around and accept whatever Social Security sees fit to help raise our daughter to adulthood.

But as it is, you have been an absent parent who makes little effort to provide for his daughter. Sure, you came to the rescue with $20 when I needed to pay for electricity, and there was that time you gave the babysitter $5 for gas. But I have gone months at a time with no direct line of contact. And you should know that your financial obligation goes beyond swooping in a few hours before the lights are cut off. (By the way, I did have enough money for the electric bill. What I really needed was a ride to the electric company. But who am I to turn down the first offer of money I have seen in 3+ years?)

You were doing better before your accident. You got a steady job. You started coming around more regularly and half-way kept up with our verbal child support agreement. I find it odd how even when you were earning more than me, you “could not afford” to cover 40% of our daughter’s expenses.

The child support office must have found it odd too. Because they wanted you to pay more than twice what you “could not afford” when employed.

I know you are upset about the supervised visitation schedule. But nobody made you do the things that led to charges of family violence and child endangerment. You chose that lifestyle and truth be told, I feel like you got off pretty easy.

I am glad the court help us settle our differences and make a decision that will hopefully be in our daughter’s best interest. And as time goes on, I hope you will be able to understand and appreciate this opportunity you are being given.